still fat and ugly

Alina texted me saying that Friday will be the photoshoot. And it's at 3 pm. Looks like I have to skip lunch?? HAHAHHAHAHAH. Because, you know, to look "slimmer" for the photoshoot ... You starve. 

Hopefully photoshop will save my soul. But not too much of it because if it gets published and people compare my real life features to the picture they will think I am a fake person!!!! SO yes, just a little. 

Kinda cool that I will be using this. The TRX Suspension Trainer seems pretty darn convenient. It's portable, you can hang it anywhere stable, and just start using. No weights required. Why? Physics!!!! Resistance ... LOL. HAHA.

I'd probably just end up looking like him

Skipped my workout yesterday and felt guilty as FUCK, but I don't blame myself because I was really productive. Sigh, another week has passed (I mean, not yet but soon). CTs are coming ... Then the Uni interviews (FYI I'm really damn fucking afraid !!!! Please please accept me!! :-( ) Then graduation, being an adult, living alone, missing my mom and pets at home... Can we turn back time, please??? 

If you stare at your parents long enough you will realise how much they've fucking aged and it fucking scares me. You can lose them any moment. You can lose ANYBODY around you ANY TIME.  Disease, terrorism, fatalities ... The list is endless. 

I miss being young and carefree. I miss that 90% of my time was spent with my mom and not on work. 

xoxo