fuck!!!!! turn back the clock

I fucking hate fyp. It's worse than my internship despite both being research based. Wo men de supervisor de boss hen er xin ta bu xi huan wo men. Wo men yao help ta bu yao bang. I am really stressed out. Really. Even though I don't show it. Cuz I am taking every moment that I can laugh to actually freaking laugh. 

Uni applications giving me a headache. The fact that I have to provide a personal statement and all. ALso, the mock interview. Wtf. It's not a waste of time but. Seriously. I need to re write my personal statement because they said it doesn't give much character. Okay, I'll edit it. But I thought I embodied much of my personality into it already. Constructive critisicm doesn't hurt, I'll probably do up a better one and use it to submit for applications as well. Killing two birds w/ one stone lol. ALso.... Need to read up on current affairs bc the mock interview will be about that. Gr8. All I know about SG is Amos Yee and the Angmoh that chided the SGean boy who wore the "I'm fucking special" shirt. I've got no time for the outside world when the school is trapping me with work and more work. Is this the part where I am supposed to show that I am extremely competent by being able to do loads of shit and handle a fucking huge amount of stress at once? Yes. Am I trying? Yes. Am I succeeding? No, not really. FUck this. Exams over interviews and research anytime, man .... 

ALSO, the fact that I already stuttered so much during the first session of the mock interview proved that I am really bad at speaking with people under stress. I get a major brain fart and words don't come out the way I want them to. And also, cuz we have to be video taped and we have to watch ourselves, I watched only like, 1 out of about 6? Do you know why? I hate looking at myself if it's taken from a bad angle. What I meant was, I looked like shit in the video. And I probably look like that to everyone everyday. Which made me really fucking depressed. I am so fat and ugly. And I have so many fucking pimples. I fucking hate my body. Can we turn the clock back to 2011? Lol.