...

when i took on this project, i had no fucking idea it'd be like this. 

i'm dumb, i surrender. i'm stupid. even dr zaman called me blur.

i'm so done. i can't do this. i'm not a model student stop calling me that. i love alcohol. and all i want to do is get drunk and run away. i want to be a vet but the want to throw it all away is as huge.

what do i do? IS THIS JUST A PHASE???? 

bye

lol i juz bawled my fuckin eyes out. i dont like research -- fucking hate it. i miss exams. i miss studying. i hate this. 

one day if im dead it's because i let myself and the people around me down and decided to give up. jk i wont kill myself. i'll just drop out and become one of those people who live in their parents' basements till 70 and live off their funds. 

cuz i'm so useless like that.